How to Survive When An End-Times Cult Takes Over Your Country
On living in reality, protecting children, and even -- shockingly -- enjoying your life in 2025 and beyond
Welcome to Healing is My Special Interest, the newsletter at the intersection of healing from high control environments and late-diagnosed neurodivergence. I thought I was done writing about white evangelicals for a while but I had at least one more essay/zine in me. Here are some of my thoughts on what we are possibly in for and how to best live in our current reality. I promise it’s not all as dire as it seems, but that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. I’m glad we have each other! To keep the silly and intense vibes going while social media crumbles around us, I have started a discord server for folks interested in connecting with each other while processing the themes of healing from religious trauma and developing autonomy in line with my STRONGWILLED project. You can join here.
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Hi! I was raised in an end times cult known as white evangelicalism1. I became an accidental expert in this totalitarian worldview as a homeschooled pastor’s kid who eventually became a missionary and Christian author/speaker until I flamed out spectacularly and finally came out as a non-binary autistic ex-Christian a few years ago. The good news is, I was raised in the belly of the beast so I know what’s coming. I went to their conferences and read all of their books and tried as hard as I could to be the perfect obedient Christian fascist. Luckily, I failed HARD. But I learned a lot about the inner workings of white evangelicals along the way.
A quick note for folks who come from this background or have friends and family members entrenched in an apocalyptic death cult: I spent a lot of time trying to convince people inside the cult to leave, and it almost never worked. This confused me, because I myself had changed my belief system, so why couldn’t they? My honest answer is that so many people simply won’t do the work to reassess their belief system when it comes to white evangelicalism because it is a totalizing worldview on purpose. White American evangelicalism involves a person’s sense of identity, politics, economics, parenting, history, the future, and more. If you threaten even one element of this worldview, then the whole ship could crumble (and people really, really do not want their entire worldview to be upended). There is also the sunk cost fallacy — the older someone is or the longer they have bought into the end times cult, the less likely they are to leave or reassess even small actions or beliefs. They can’t interrogate any part of it, for in doing so they would have to reckon with the reality of what they have done to themselves and to others in the name of what — the hope of eternal life? Fleeting temporal political power? The chance to control others and view themselves as righteous at the exact same time?
It’s hard to say.
ANYWAYS now the folks I grew up with are squarely in power in the US— or at least, the wealthy people of the world have orchestrated it so that they are in power — and I know a thing or two about how they function. I will share that with you here, along with a few of my thoughts on how to survive (and perhaps even thrive occasionally) in a society that is being led by people who a). Truly believe it is the end of the world and therefore, b). Have no interest in working together with a diverse group of people to make this planet habitable for future generations. It’s that last part that has been particularly useful to capitalists and shareholders and CEOs, who weirdly enough also have no interest in making this planet habitable for future generations. Instead, the super rich just want to amass the most amount of money and power they can. Again, for what reason? So that their abusive dads will finally be proud of them? So that they can feel like a bigger and better person than you? So that girls will like them???? It’s all so ridiculous.
But back to the content. Here’s a snapshot of what you should know about Christian fascists:
1) They are just boring old fundamentalists who are obsessed with the apocalypse.
Yes, they might wear skinny jeans and nice sneakers, but they are really just sad men obsessed with the crumbling of the white supremacist patriarchy. There is also a sub-component of people in this cult who are really into the apocalypse and heaven/hell and Jesus/the devil because they don’t know how to deal with the grief of being a human and so they spiritually bypass all the hard emotions of life onto this belief that it will all be over soon. The Jesus Movement of the 1970s in the US told a bunch of traumatized hippies that the world was going to end soon and boy howdy did a lot of folks believe that2. Now they are sort of desperate for their worldview to be confirmed as correct, which means they are honestly excited about things heating up in the middle east and climate catastrophes and crumbling governments — because it means that the apocalyptic religion they committed their lives to when they were 16 is correct. Sucks for the rest of us, right?!?!?! Fundies obsessed with the end of the world have always been a part of our society, known for being the uptight repressed weirdos that they are, and now they are getting the chance to be big and blustery on the world’s biggest pulpit. Forcing all of us to go to their boring and decidedly deranged church service, day after day, week after week, using the Republican party as their vehicle.
2) They thrive off of the abuse and indoctrination of children.
If you look at all the evangelical churches in the US, there is one common denominator: they all agree on how important it is for Christians to discipline and train their children, starting at extremely early ages. This is the bread and butter of the Christian fascist world, and I think this is for a few reasons. One is that it gives authoritarian-leaning people a sense of power and control when they are told God actually wants them to be the ultimate authority over defenseless little children. But more importantly, by disciplining their children using corporal punishment and loads of authoritarian teachings, it also ensures that they will have children with zero agency and self-esteem to carry on their weird little patriarchal death cult. They will have good little boys and girls who grow up, work their jobs, vote for the authoritarian they are supposed to, have children, and raise them to do the exact same thing. Abused kids make perfect little Christians, perfect little capitalists, and perfect little authoritarian followers. Plus, if you train someone from birth that abuse is loving, they will not only expect that for the rest of their lives but will actually clamor for it3!
3) They have no vision for the future (except sometimes the white patriarchy).
None! None! They are just hurtling through the present, weirdly hoping that things continue to get worse and worse until the apocalypse happens and Jesus returns and proves that they were RIGHT ALL ALONG. They have no clue how to be emotionally healthy people who know how to take ownership of their lives because they have learned to always look out for someone to save them — be it God or a political messiah. This honestly makes them pretty dangerous in large groups but it’s why authoritarians and grifters love them. They are not planning for a future where the majority of people in a pluralistic society can thrive. They are planning on a future filled with horrors that Jesus saves them from OR— if that doesn’t happen, or maybe just in the meantime — a sort of 1950s white patriarchal wet dream. You know, a future where every woman is forced to marry a man and take care of him every day for the rest of his life and tell him every day that God wants him to be the leader of his family and where she can’t get a divorce or an abortion or ever be gay. I’m serious! These are the things these people talk about constantly.
4) They have no clue that they are being played.
A lot of these folks think billionaires are great people. They think dictators who pray to Jesus are the bees knees. They think the people selling them pillows and gold bars and supplements and anti-vaccine books are good people who are only trying to help them so they keep emptying their savings accounts to these righteous business people. Their news websites are littered with ads for scams, their facebook posts are filled with AI pictures and out-right lies, their votes were bought and paid for by Russia, or the rich, or Elon Musk4. They see no problem with sending billions of dollars to fund a genocide in Palestine while people beg for money on GoFundMe to replace their homes lost to wildfires raging in California. They are the perfect group for the rich to play with, because this is a group that can never self-reflect too much. If they identify one conspiracy theory or religious scam they fell for, then perhaps they might have to assess the rest. Which they decidedly do NOT want to do. Remember, they are just holding on until the ultimate vindication of their worldview, which is an apocalyptic WWIII where everyone dies horribly except for them.
OK. So, those are the 4 main issues I have with evangelicals and all who think like them. So, what do we do?
Well, I honestly believe that if we can face the above realities — especially the one about the abuse of children — then we can start to fight back / resist on our terms. You know, the terms of LIVING IN FUCKING REALITY. Reality, you know, that place where people can’t afford to get sick, no one under the age of 40 can ever buy a house again, and kids are being shot at constantly in their schools? Yeah, that one. These motherfuckers are so used to tuning out reality that doesn’t fit their narrative, so one thing we are going to do is:
1) Force Christian fascists to live in reality.
Listen, it’s just love and logic baby. It’s just like Jesus said: fuck around and find out (or maybe he said, you reap what you sow — but honestly potato potato). Let them experience the consequences of their actions. Like, how no one wants to hang out with transphobic emotionally immature people who are conned by every fake news social media post they see. Stop pretending their worldview has any value to the wider world and see how much they like it. These folks get off on forcing people to confirm that their way of viewing the world is correct and that they are “good” people. Reflect back to them what they are: people who are so committed to being the righteous few that they have no problem handing off a burning world to the rest of us. And we are rightfully angry about that. Live like the world isn’t going to end in WWIII tomorrow, and start planning for a future that decenters white evangelicals in every way. Boundaries, baby, boundaries!
2). Listen to kids (and protect them!)
Yeah, kids are experiencing a mental health crisis right now — how could they not? The older generations have absolutely fucked everything up and are refusing to take responsibility for it (hey, it’s all a part of God’s plan, right?). Kids are wondering if it is safe to be them in the world and if the adults around them care at all about the survival of the planet and the answer that Christian fascists have literally beat into them is a resounding NO. If you are a parent, the most important work you can do right now is to raise kids who get to be themselves in the safety of your own home. Who learn how to feel their feelings and process their emotions and connect to their true selves. This is one of the best ways to resist fascism, by NOT beating your kids into submission or scaring them into forced obedience to authority and capitalism. You can validate their big feelings about society while also creating a joyful life of living into your true selves and working towards equity and justice. If you don’t have kids, there are plenty of ways to pour into the younger generation and let them know that a) they are not alone and b) there are grown-ups around who also think this shit is fucked up and that the rich and the powerful should be forced to reckon with what they have done. Kids need to be listened to with their big fears and big emotions, and they need to see grown-ups who are willing to fight for a better future for them.
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(I am SO proud of this weird little stop motion thing I made that is about childhood religious indoctrination and the panopticon. If this is the last thing I ever post on Tik Tok before it is banned I will honestly be tickled pink).
3). Opt out of the panopticon.
Being raised in this world meant being told from birth on that Jesus was in my heart and that God knew my every thought. I was trained to always check in with “god” and make my entire life about conforming to his will (which just so happened to mirror what my parents wanted me to do). It took me decades before I could break out of this psychological hellhole and learn to connect with my own intuition instead of an outside form of control. I call this the panopticon effect — you know, Jeremy Benthem’s idea for a prison that only had to pay one guard but could keep all the prisoners in line because they never knew if they were being watched or not? As social media AND political power continues to be overtaken by the rich and the Christian fascists, I think it’s really important to carve out spaces where their thoughts and beliefs and actions are not always in our brains. They get off on control and fear and punishing others, right? So don’t let them do that to you 24/7. Opt out of the endless news cycle, and figure out ways to be informed enough that work well for your mental health. Protect your inner world as fiercely as you protect your home. Don’t let abusive, violent, apocalyptic grifters hang out in your living room and suck your emotional energy, and don’t let that happen to you on social media constantly either. Create connections and pathways with people who are informed on the issues you care about and support them directly — and don’t give folks like Zuckerberg or Musk your time, attention, or money (if possible).
4). Remember the real enemy is the rich.
Memento verus hostis est opulentus5. Yes, the Christian fascists are so annoying and so ridiculous and they take up so much air space. But right now is a pretty important time to remember that the rich keep getting richer by creating these divides that keep people arguing about if boys can wear dresses or not instead of discussing how Los Angeles is burning or Putin’s involvement in our elections or how health insurance is just one giant scam. War makes the rich richer. A two-party system makes the rich richer. A fake democracy with the world’s most cartoonish president ever who serves as a great distraction makes the rich richer. I will happily de-center white evangelicals in every area of my life but if they suddenly want to eat the rich then boom baby I am back on their team. That’s kinda the odd thing about all of this — I have spent my life being aware of how dangerous Christian fascists are to a democratic and pluralistic society, but when push comes to shove I will work with them to create a better world for everyone (while knowing full well they would never do the same for me). Raising class consciousness is really important work right now, for all of us. The number one thing that helps countries as a whole resist fascism is a little something called worker rights. The rich are (rightly) terrified of collective power. So start by supporting places that have unionized workers. Don’t be taken in by companies that have good marketing but bust anyone who tries to organize for collective action (I’m looking at you, Trader Joe’s6).
5). It’s time to get creative, and weird, and . . . Happy?
Do weird shit. Process the news by moving your body, dancing to music, screaming into a pillow, staring at nature, taking small doses of mushrooms, re-watching a favorite childhood cartoon. Invest in your mental health. Stock up on a few days worth of emergency supplies and continue to get to know your neighbors. Invest in your actual body, your home, your neighborhood, your kids. Make shitty art. Think about something you really, really want to do in the next year and work towards it. Buy a good vibrator. Borrow all the smut you like from the library. Make delicious meals on the weekends. Invite friends into your messy home and your messy life. Be gay and genderqueer and silly and absurd. Annoy the Christian fascists by not living in miserable fear for the next however many years. Be the strong-willed child who refuses to obey in advance. Because most of all, the best way to resist a Christian end times cult that has taken over your country is to live as if the world wasn’t actually going to end. To continue to invest in the things that give you joy and pleasure and hope for humanity — to connect to nature and the earth and the vastness of time and space. To remember we are tiny silly beings who hold an infinite capacity for creativity. To remember you are not in this alone, and you never will be.
This is how we survive: by showing ourselves, our communities, and the younger generation, that we can live lives full of pain and suffering AND joy and wonder, all at the same time. We didn’t choose to live in these unprecedented times, and yet here we are. So let’s have some fun while we wait for this current form of tyranny to fall (and tyranny, my friends, always always falls). So here’s to being alive and sticking around for the long-term so we can dance and cheer when the tower eventually crashes down.
And here’s to doing it together.
If you are looking for a few tips on how to be in your body / resist authoritarianism for the long haul, I wrote a post about this in 2023! Much love to everyone who has been doing the hard work to connect to their bodies and their true selves — I hope you are seeing some of the fruits of that labor in your lives and in your mental health.
How are YOU planning to survive (and even thrive) in the coming months/years? Let me know in the comments.
I mean, it makes sense. Jesus seems to have truly believed the end of the world was coming very soon, making him yet another apocalyptic preacher (the world is full of them!)
Talia Lavin has an excellent chapter on how susceptible white evangelicals are to grifters in her book Wild Faith: How the Christian Right is Taking Over America. I highly recommend her book!
I typed this into an english to latin generator, but don’t you think we could actually come up with a fun and pitchy slogan? Give me your ideas!
"If you are a parent, the most important work you can do right now is to raise kids who get to be themselves in the safety of your own home." Hey. Yeah. I can do that. In fact, I'm reminding myself that I've BEEN trying to do that the entire time I've been a parent. Thank you for that validation and hope. I feel like a failure a lot of the time, but I was talking with another neurodivergent mom of a neurodivergent child recently, and she reminded me that the most important thing is that *we* understand our kids, and *we* can stick up for our kids, and *we* can let them be themselves with us.
This is so perfectly captured and resonates deeply. I'm 56 and 5 years fully deconverted, identify as non-religious now. Indoctrinated from infancy, conservative evangelicalism--reformed Calvinist theology with a nice swirl of Gothard for extra terrorization. Early career I worked for a Southern Baptist televangelist and lived every bit of my life, including rearing my three now-adult children in the cult too. So many deep regrets for the harm I experienced and the harm I did, but I'm building a new future, though my biological family and most former friends have decided not to be a part of it. Thank you for who you are and what you do. Looking forward to journeying with this community, thank you!