Hi!!! I am so glad I found you DL. What a wonderful space you have curated here. I have been off social media since my third child was born 5 years ago! And let me tell you - IT CAN BE DONE! I am SO much better for it. I got off bc I didn't want to spend all my breastfeeding hours scrolling Instagram in compare and despair. I now never feel the need to "have" to take a picture and post of a family vacation. I take pics when I want to (OR DON'T) and post to our shared apple photo accounts so family can see. When I have time....or NEVER! I have oodles of time to read. I love substack but it in no way pulls me in me in like Insta and FB did. I also never have to worry about violating my kids privacy by posting pics of them which always made me squeamish! And I am an example to my pre-teen girls who we aren't allowing to have social media. I HIGHLY support this choice and recoomend to anyone! Also if you are worried about missing school/community stuff - most have other ways to keep you in the "know" and you can always find a trusted friend to share posts with you if not. Also it allows me to curate my news information to trusted sources so I can feel informed but not overwhelmed. HUGE in these crazy times
I read that 30,000 tik tokkers moved to substack. I’m not sure why this keeps getting referred to as not social media since it looks very much like other socials I’ve been on. Sharing updates, pictures, videos, links. It looks like social media to me, and I’m happy to be here. I’m still trying to figure out how to get my posts to only my subscribers and not viewable to any old body on the internet. Anyway, I’ll find my way, in the meantime, I think it’s lovely here.
Yes Substack is a social media app but it isn’t algorithm based like most of the other ones, if that makes sense? Similar to discord, you find the places you want to plug in and do that — and you aren’t constantly being offered up other voices and people to follow based off of your interests (although authors can and do recommend each other on here, which I love!)
I think maybe because some use it like social media and others don’t? I only read a handful of substacks and sometimes interact in the comments. So to me, it feels like a newsletter with a comment section.
I’ve been off social media for a year now, and it’s been mostly wonderful. I’m starting to create art materials to then create art, and I’m finding I want to share that and am not sure how yet outside of social media (the process is just so cool!). But I’m committed to divesting. And outside of wanting to connect over that topic, haven’t missed it. I’ve been reading books even more instead. And have found community in taking online classes: one on hand sewing and the other on making color for artists. For the latter, I meet with 12ish other makers from around the world once a month to discuss our makings and to muse about art and art materials. It’s been wonderful!! I joined your Discord server and love to pop in as I want. Keeping up just can’t be a goal because there’s lots of activity in there. And substacks and newsletters that I choose intentionally have been great too. Cheering you on, always!!
Yes that desire to share what I create is pretty strong within me as well . . . I am slowly playing around with doing some in person events to share my creative stuff and it’s scary! But I’m glad for the push
Curious what you mean when you say "making color for artists"? Meeting with makers all over the world to discuss your makings sounds amazing! how did that happen?
I love to forage from specific places, make color, and get to know that place through color. The link will show all the ways I’m learning to make color this year. I mostly use plants and mushrooms to create dyes and water colors.
The reels of cute, silly, creative, whimsical, feisty wonder are what I have most connected with over the last couple of years on social media as I moved away from going there even to see what my friends and old connections were up to (since I couldn't ever get the algorithms to work for me).
Mostly I just feel tired now. I'm angry too. It's so hard to keep up with so many people that I love and I'm angry that the system is too fucked up to save now. I find all of the other options to be difficult for my brain to navigate--I get so quickly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of words on discord and bluesky feels too much like twitter (which I could never get into)--I want pictures and music and video. An escape.
BUT I am loving in-person connections so much. Over the last three years I have made connections with a co-ed adult volleyball league and with a local pottery studio. It's all very casual and we don't hang out or text outside of those spaces, but every time I am there I am reminded that the world is just so full of really cool, fun people and I am so grateful to get to meet more and more of them in these creative, energetic, free-spirited ways. I have a lot of other people that I get to connect with more deeply as well.
I'm grieving the loss of the original reasons I loved Instagram (I didn't use TikTok, twitter, etc) -- seeing cute pictures of friends far away, seeing people's art, peeking at people's cozy houses, parasocial relationships with writers I love! I am still tentatively keeping my Instagram account, but as so many of my people move away from it and its utility devolves, it's a loss.
I’m finding more and more that Substack is where I want to be. I loved TikTok for the community and answers I found during deconstruction. I also think it can still hopefully be valuable for live updates of things as they happen under this horrible administration. I am on Instagram occasionally to see the few people I followed over from TikTok, especially brilliant communicators and teachers. But my mental health cannot handle the constant influx of bad news, so it’s best that I am not consuming it all day every day.
Ahh social media...it's not always social. Often times it's mud slinging and antagonistic, leaving some chasing their tails. Now to be clear, I am 75, and therefore not all that media savvy. Looking back at my 20's 30's and 40's, I was much more susceptible to being pulled in many directions, following the should and so on. But, things were a bit different, even though, those are the years we want and need to be heard, noticed and respected. As I read more and more from young people, I see maturity rising earlier. Congratulations.
Time is your most precious commodity. I don't care what age you are. Time, offers the ability to reflect, zooming far out and away form the crowds. Cultivating a strong inner dialogue that will without a doubt, keep peace in your heart, a clear vision, customized precisely for you and the ability to love yourself, and create a constant transformable lifestyle. You can't go wrong with a title like Healing Is My Special Interest.
I'm interested (in a nervous kind of way) to see if/how social media changes for the millions and millions of users that are not American. I'm in a country (Australia) that's allied with the US but ultimately has quite a different government system. Will things change for us? If propaganda starts creeping in, how far will it reach? Will it reach those who use the platforms in languages other than English?
Anyway, I'm grateful for the work you've done on social media over the last few years and look forward to continuing to follow you on substack 😊
Thankfully in Australia it is a lot easier to peacefully throw out a leader you don't like. In fact, the prime minister has been replaced mid-term 4 times in the last 15 years. While that leadership instability isn't great, it gives me hope that Australia is much further away from autocracy than the US. However, we are at the whim of Trump in many ways too. So worldwide autocracy? My guess is probably not. But smaller countries being dragged into shit by someone we had no power to vote out? Yup 😬
I pulled back from posting on social media in the last few years. I was still on the apps, scrolling and sharing others posts, but rarely made posts of my own, and when I did they weren't usually personal. More like, reposting to boost someone else's message. I am so grateful to the creators who helped me figure out my sexuality, decode my neurodivergence, and start deconstructing religion, patriarchy, and white supremacy.
It was actually all of that unpacking that helped me realize I didn't want to pretend to be someone online anymore. I am still exhausted over the posing and posturing that feels necessary on social media. I think about posting, and am immediately overwhelmed by how to present myself "just so" to get likes and not a fight. I get sucked into the scroll and then am disgusted with the time wasted and the way I feel even less connected when I finally log off. I am frustrated with the shouting into the void and utter lack of action that results (in the population at large, but mostly in myself).
With the events of the last....weeks? Days? Months? (How long have we been watching this shitshow anyway? Time is a construct and I've lost track) I've deleted my FB, am about ready to delete IG (a few more saved things to notate elsewhere first!) and I think I'm going to delete TT as well. I'm here, and on Discord & Reddit sometimes. But often the wall of words, big emotions, and even bigger opinions is overwhelming and I opt for a game, a book, or an aesthetic Pinterest scroll instead.
I want to get more plugged in locally, with people and groups where I can actually DO something tangible. Both building community and helping my direct neighbors. I can't change the world, and my state and federal reps are the variety that flat-out ignore their constituents, so calling them seems pointless. But I can do good in my little corner, and believe that enough people are also doing that to have a wide-reaching effect. 💜
Back when blogs were a thing we had a family blog and I would post about my kids and myself what we were up to and share with friends and family. It was so fun! Then a few years later everyone was on facebook and blogs were not really used as much so I felt compelled to get on facebook. I was on there for about two seconds and just couldn't handle it. Same with Instagram. Now I only use instagram for funny memes and art inspiration. When we had our blog it felt so much more personal.
I am really grateful for Substack and I do agree that Discord is a little overstimulating but happy to connect with others in this community a little.
Still struggling to get in person community for us here. These spaces do help me feel less alone but Instagram and Facebook make me feel more depressed and existential dread.
I’ve slowly stepped back bit by bit. Moving stateside, then not wanting to post my kids faces or stuff anymore, 2020…2021…I haven’t gotten to where I am shutting it down entirely but I’ve deleted FB app and only access it via Chrome - I only go there for the Olive and June members group and occasionally to check on one side of my fam. IG is my only other main one and I curated my feed a lot in 2020/2021 so it doesn’t feel icky…but I keep app limits on so as to not lose myself in the scroll. I’ve also just started checking in with myself when I close the app to see how I’m feeling and where I’m at mentally…Will adjust as needed depending on how that goes.
Going to lean hard into Substack and exploring Discord for now!
Honestly, online friendships have been a literal lifeline for me, but there's always that transience that feels hard and can hurt when we leave a platform or a friend does, so I'm grateful for those like you providing other options. I experience the same when I leave a city or friends move away. It's been particularly hard in this city for the last five years given that the majority of that time has been a pandemic and full of political tension. I've been able to figure out how to use my social media as a type of publication (with a purpose, tone, audience, etc.) more intentionally, especially on BlueSky, but honestly I knew that I needed to get off Twitter for years but needed a mass exodus if I was ever going to because I didn't want to lose the friends there who wouldn't move elsewhere until they had to.
I'd love to form really healthy in-person friendships, but I have no idea how to do that as a single, sapphic asexual 30-something woman with no kids who doesn't drink or smoke or get high, isn't a college student, has too many disabilities and neurodivergences to drive to bigger cities or stay out late, has zero sports interest or ability, and can't be around allergens like cats or too much pollen/outdoors. *shrug I'm not having much luck in queer circles especially because everything is about late-night alcohol, weed, cats, sports, and hiking. haha I need someone to make some indoor activities for the gay asthmatics with no specific hobby talents. xD But it can't be me because I'm already leading too many things! I'm so busy, but none of it leads to in-person friends who are more than hangout buddies. I want people who can come hang out just because we like spending time together and go on vacation and make birthday traditions and be each other's emergency contacts, you know? But I also don't want to abandon my work of queer activism and volunteering, writing, spiritual communities, online communities, and of course all the paid work and adulting tasks and sleep and healthcare/disability management... and then there's the question of where I'd be welcome and find belonging as a fairly complicated bundle of competing identities. haha
I’m happy with Bluesky at the moment. I enjoy it the way I enjoyed pre-Musk Twitter.
I work at a Quaker non-profit, and about a month ago we joined with several other Quaker non-profits in discontinuing our use of X; the metaphor I used to explain it to people was that we were tired of throwing the seed of our message onto the rocks.
I have been mostly off social media for a while now. It was gradual. (I weirdly never really did twitter significantly and never got a ticktok account.) I first got off of Facebook when it went to the boomers, and then when Instagram when I realized that it made me overwhelmed, contributed to being not happy. I also got disillusioned as a creative entrepreneur. There was a magical time in the early two thousand teens where there weren't algorithms yet and you could actually connect to real people and I remember creators were able to find their people, but since algorithms were introduced, I remember it slowly changing. You had to then try to follow the trend or get your algorithms just right and it was exhausting. I stopped trying to be a freelance illustrator in 2021-22 (I'm now happily an art teacher.) and slowly stopped adding content, then I went off-and-on to just check others feeds, and now I only check it once in a while to promote my brother's band. :)
I guess I felt like I needed to stay on IG to take a stand against all the fuckery. But now realize I don’t think it truly matters. Because here we are today. I’m thinking of deleting IG and staying with Substack- seems a bit better but maybe not? I need to educate myself better about algorithms. I deleted FB in 2016 because that shit was harmful. Thanks as always, DL.
I deleted all social media except Instagram at the end of December and I feel so much better. It's like my mind calmed and cleared out. I can concentrate again and I'm craving books. I've already read 12 books this month and I'm beyond thrilled, it's like finding a lost love.
One of the books I'm currently reading is "The Place of Tides" by James Rebanks, an English farmer and environmental advocate. He too, talked about being burned out by his activism and social media, and he compared it to the way geese fly in a V formation. The lead goose does all the work, but eventually they have to drop back to rest. You can't always be the lead goose–no one is strong enough for that.
Hi!!! I am so glad I found you DL. What a wonderful space you have curated here. I have been off social media since my third child was born 5 years ago! And let me tell you - IT CAN BE DONE! I am SO much better for it. I got off bc I didn't want to spend all my breastfeeding hours scrolling Instagram in compare and despair. I now never feel the need to "have" to take a picture and post of a family vacation. I take pics when I want to (OR DON'T) and post to our shared apple photo accounts so family can see. When I have time....or NEVER! I have oodles of time to read. I love substack but it in no way pulls me in me in like Insta and FB did. I also never have to worry about violating my kids privacy by posting pics of them which always made me squeamish! And I am an example to my pre-teen girls who we aren't allowing to have social media. I HIGHLY support this choice and recoomend to anyone! Also if you are worried about missing school/community stuff - most have other ways to keep you in the "know" and you can always find a trusted friend to share posts with you if not. Also it allows me to curate my news information to trusted sources so I can feel informed but not overwhelmed. HUGE in these crazy times
I read that 30,000 tik tokkers moved to substack. I’m not sure why this keeps getting referred to as not social media since it looks very much like other socials I’ve been on. Sharing updates, pictures, videos, links. It looks like social media to me, and I’m happy to be here. I’m still trying to figure out how to get my posts to only my subscribers and not viewable to any old body on the internet. Anyway, I’ll find my way, in the meantime, I think it’s lovely here.
Yes Substack is a social media app but it isn’t algorithm based like most of the other ones, if that makes sense? Similar to discord, you find the places you want to plug in and do that — and you aren’t constantly being offered up other voices and people to follow based off of your interests (although authors can and do recommend each other on here, which I love!)
I think maybe because some use it like social media and others don’t? I only read a handful of substacks and sometimes interact in the comments. So to me, it feels like a newsletter with a comment section.
I’ve been off social media for a year now, and it’s been mostly wonderful. I’m starting to create art materials to then create art, and I’m finding I want to share that and am not sure how yet outside of social media (the process is just so cool!). But I’m committed to divesting. And outside of wanting to connect over that topic, haven’t missed it. I’ve been reading books even more instead. And have found community in taking online classes: one on hand sewing and the other on making color for artists. For the latter, I meet with 12ish other makers from around the world once a month to discuss our makings and to muse about art and art materials. It’s been wonderful!! I joined your Discord server and love to pop in as I want. Keeping up just can’t be a goal because there’s lots of activity in there. And substacks and newsletters that I choose intentionally have been great too. Cheering you on, always!!
Yes that desire to share what I create is pretty strong within me as well . . . I am slowly playing around with doing some in person events to share my creative stuff and it’s scary! But I’m glad for the push
Love that!! Thinking of you in the scary.
Curious what you mean when you say "making color for artists"? Meeting with makers all over the world to discuss your makings sounds amazing! how did that happen?
I signed up for this course and study group and pay monthly: https://plantsandcolour.co.uk/natural-colour-making-for-artists
I love to forage from specific places, make color, and get to know that place through color. The link will show all the ways I’m learning to make color this year. I mostly use plants and mushrooms to create dyes and water colors.
The reels of cute, silly, creative, whimsical, feisty wonder are what I have most connected with over the last couple of years on social media as I moved away from going there even to see what my friends and old connections were up to (since I couldn't ever get the algorithms to work for me).
Mostly I just feel tired now. I'm angry too. It's so hard to keep up with so many people that I love and I'm angry that the system is too fucked up to save now. I find all of the other options to be difficult for my brain to navigate--I get so quickly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of words on discord and bluesky feels too much like twitter (which I could never get into)--I want pictures and music and video. An escape.
BUT I am loving in-person connections so much. Over the last three years I have made connections with a co-ed adult volleyball league and with a local pottery studio. It's all very casual and we don't hang out or text outside of those spaces, but every time I am there I am reminded that the world is just so full of really cool, fun people and I am so grateful to get to meet more and more of them in these creative, energetic, free-spirited ways. I have a lot of other people that I get to connect with more deeply as well.
I'm grieving the loss of the original reasons I loved Instagram (I didn't use TikTok, twitter, etc) -- seeing cute pictures of friends far away, seeing people's art, peeking at people's cozy houses, parasocial relationships with writers I love! I am still tentatively keeping my Instagram account, but as so many of my people move away from it and its utility devolves, it's a loss.
It is a loss and it deserves to be grieved!!!
I’m finding more and more that Substack is where I want to be. I loved TikTok for the community and answers I found during deconstruction. I also think it can still hopefully be valuable for live updates of things as they happen under this horrible administration. I am on Instagram occasionally to see the few people I followed over from TikTok, especially brilliant communicators and teachers. But my mental health cannot handle the constant influx of bad news, so it’s best that I am not consuming it all day every day.
Ahh social media...it's not always social. Often times it's mud slinging and antagonistic, leaving some chasing their tails. Now to be clear, I am 75, and therefore not all that media savvy. Looking back at my 20's 30's and 40's, I was much more susceptible to being pulled in many directions, following the should and so on. But, things were a bit different, even though, those are the years we want and need to be heard, noticed and respected. As I read more and more from young people, I see maturity rising earlier. Congratulations.
Time is your most precious commodity. I don't care what age you are. Time, offers the ability to reflect, zooming far out and away form the crowds. Cultivating a strong inner dialogue that will without a doubt, keep peace in your heart, a clear vision, customized precisely for you and the ability to love yourself, and create a constant transformable lifestyle. You can't go wrong with a title like Healing Is My Special Interest.
I'm interested (in a nervous kind of way) to see if/how social media changes for the millions and millions of users that are not American. I'm in a country (Australia) that's allied with the US but ultimately has quite a different government system. Will things change for us? If propaganda starts creeping in, how far will it reach? Will it reach those who use the platforms in languages other than English?
Anyway, I'm grateful for the work you've done on social media over the last few years and look forward to continuing to follow you on substack 😊
YUP. I guess we shall see if it’s going to be a world wide autocracy or not 😬😬😬
Thankfully in Australia it is a lot easier to peacefully throw out a leader you don't like. In fact, the prime minister has been replaced mid-term 4 times in the last 15 years. While that leadership instability isn't great, it gives me hope that Australia is much further away from autocracy than the US. However, we are at the whim of Trump in many ways too. So worldwide autocracy? My guess is probably not. But smaller countries being dragged into shit by someone we had no power to vote out? Yup 😬
I pulled back from posting on social media in the last few years. I was still on the apps, scrolling and sharing others posts, but rarely made posts of my own, and when I did they weren't usually personal. More like, reposting to boost someone else's message. I am so grateful to the creators who helped me figure out my sexuality, decode my neurodivergence, and start deconstructing religion, patriarchy, and white supremacy.
It was actually all of that unpacking that helped me realize I didn't want to pretend to be someone online anymore. I am still exhausted over the posing and posturing that feels necessary on social media. I think about posting, and am immediately overwhelmed by how to present myself "just so" to get likes and not a fight. I get sucked into the scroll and then am disgusted with the time wasted and the way I feel even less connected when I finally log off. I am frustrated with the shouting into the void and utter lack of action that results (in the population at large, but mostly in myself).
With the events of the last....weeks? Days? Months? (How long have we been watching this shitshow anyway? Time is a construct and I've lost track) I've deleted my FB, am about ready to delete IG (a few more saved things to notate elsewhere first!) and I think I'm going to delete TT as well. I'm here, and on Discord & Reddit sometimes. But often the wall of words, big emotions, and even bigger opinions is overwhelming and I opt for a game, a book, or an aesthetic Pinterest scroll instead.
I want to get more plugged in locally, with people and groups where I can actually DO something tangible. Both building community and helping my direct neighbors. I can't change the world, and my state and federal reps are the variety that flat-out ignore their constituents, so calling them seems pointless. But I can do good in my little corner, and believe that enough people are also doing that to have a wide-reaching effect. 💜
Back when blogs were a thing we had a family blog and I would post about my kids and myself what we were up to and share with friends and family. It was so fun! Then a few years later everyone was on facebook and blogs were not really used as much so I felt compelled to get on facebook. I was on there for about two seconds and just couldn't handle it. Same with Instagram. Now I only use instagram for funny memes and art inspiration. When we had our blog it felt so much more personal.
I am really grateful for Substack and I do agree that Discord is a little overstimulating but happy to connect with others in this community a little.
Still struggling to get in person community for us here. These spaces do help me feel less alone but Instagram and Facebook make me feel more depressed and existential dread.
I’ve slowly stepped back bit by bit. Moving stateside, then not wanting to post my kids faces or stuff anymore, 2020…2021…I haven’t gotten to where I am shutting it down entirely but I’ve deleted FB app and only access it via Chrome - I only go there for the Olive and June members group and occasionally to check on one side of my fam. IG is my only other main one and I curated my feed a lot in 2020/2021 so it doesn’t feel icky…but I keep app limits on so as to not lose myself in the scroll. I’ve also just started checking in with myself when I close the app to see how I’m feeling and where I’m at mentally…Will adjust as needed depending on how that goes.
Going to lean hard into Substack and exploring Discord for now!
Honestly, online friendships have been a literal lifeline for me, but there's always that transience that feels hard and can hurt when we leave a platform or a friend does, so I'm grateful for those like you providing other options. I experience the same when I leave a city or friends move away. It's been particularly hard in this city for the last five years given that the majority of that time has been a pandemic and full of political tension. I've been able to figure out how to use my social media as a type of publication (with a purpose, tone, audience, etc.) more intentionally, especially on BlueSky, but honestly I knew that I needed to get off Twitter for years but needed a mass exodus if I was ever going to because I didn't want to lose the friends there who wouldn't move elsewhere until they had to.
I'd love to form really healthy in-person friendships, but I have no idea how to do that as a single, sapphic asexual 30-something woman with no kids who doesn't drink or smoke or get high, isn't a college student, has too many disabilities and neurodivergences to drive to bigger cities or stay out late, has zero sports interest or ability, and can't be around allergens like cats or too much pollen/outdoors. *shrug I'm not having much luck in queer circles especially because everything is about late-night alcohol, weed, cats, sports, and hiking. haha I need someone to make some indoor activities for the gay asthmatics with no specific hobby talents. xD But it can't be me because I'm already leading too many things! I'm so busy, but none of it leads to in-person friends who are more than hangout buddies. I want people who can come hang out just because we like spending time together and go on vacation and make birthday traditions and be each other's emergency contacts, you know? But I also don't want to abandon my work of queer activism and volunteering, writing, spiritual communities, online communities, and of course all the paid work and adulting tasks and sleep and healthcare/disability management... and then there's the question of where I'd be welcome and find belonging as a fairly complicated bundle of competing identities. haha
I’m happy with Bluesky at the moment. I enjoy it the way I enjoyed pre-Musk Twitter.
I work at a Quaker non-profit, and about a month ago we joined with several other Quaker non-profits in discontinuing our use of X; the metaphor I used to explain it to people was that we were tired of throwing the seed of our message onto the rocks.
I have been mostly off social media for a while now. It was gradual. (I weirdly never really did twitter significantly and never got a ticktok account.) I first got off of Facebook when it went to the boomers, and then when Instagram when I realized that it made me overwhelmed, contributed to being not happy. I also got disillusioned as a creative entrepreneur. There was a magical time in the early two thousand teens where there weren't algorithms yet and you could actually connect to real people and I remember creators were able to find their people, but since algorithms were introduced, I remember it slowly changing. You had to then try to follow the trend or get your algorithms just right and it was exhausting. I stopped trying to be a freelance illustrator in 2021-22 (I'm now happily an art teacher.) and slowly stopped adding content, then I went off-and-on to just check others feeds, and now I only check it once in a while to promote my brother's band. :)
I guess I felt like I needed to stay on IG to take a stand against all the fuckery. But now realize I don’t think it truly matters. Because here we are today. I’m thinking of deleting IG and staying with Substack- seems a bit better but maybe not? I need to educate myself better about algorithms. I deleted FB in 2016 because that shit was harmful. Thanks as always, DL.
I deleted all social media except Instagram at the end of December and I feel so much better. It's like my mind calmed and cleared out. I can concentrate again and I'm craving books. I've already read 12 books this month and I'm beyond thrilled, it's like finding a lost love.
One of the books I'm currently reading is "The Place of Tides" by James Rebanks, an English farmer and environmental advocate. He too, talked about being burned out by his activism and social media, and he compared it to the way geese fly in a V formation. The lead goose does all the work, but eventually they have to drop back to rest. You can't always be the lead goose–no one is strong enough for that.