I read this in the quiet of early morning. At first I was so stunned by it that I couldn't get up from my chair. Now I am experiencing a flood of tears, still sitting in the same chair. I am 65 and ongoingly striving to get the hang of my recent diagnoses. This essay brought profound connections to consciousness for me (and with me, with all of us through history). Thank you for this. I hadn't anticipated re-reading Jane Eyre but, yeah, totally have to now. It would be amazing to discuss it along the way. Maybe many have and have left a paper trail? Gorgeous essay? Absolutely.
This is beautiful. I had to read Jane Eyre (and write a book report) as punishment in 8th grade (35 years ago) for making a mean mini-book about my English teacher and getting caught. (I reconnected with her on fb a couple years ago and she swears she doesn’t remember and it couldn’t be true because she never assigns books as punishment. But it happened.) I skim-read it for the report and swore I’d never ever read the book again. You’ve changed my mind. 💗
It tickles me too! 🤣 Do you remember notebooks with perforated pages? I took the little half-inch part that was left after you tear out the sheets and cut it so it was like 2 inches tall and still bound together and made a book and I would give anything to still have it. 🤣 Another teacher found it and I had to apologize to the teacher and tell the principal and my parents, oh my god.
It didn't fit in the essay, but there was a phase in my relationship with the book (I think around college / early twenties, so 10 years ago for me) when I reread it and COULD'T STAND IT because everyone was so mean to Jane and she just put up with so much. I hated how she was victimized. I was adult enough to realize the cruelty and injustice that were happening, but I didn't yet have the missing key of neurodivergence to understand the pattern. Rereading again more recently, I had a new angle and, in retrospect, maybe I hated it at that time because the same sort of thing was happening to me. Anyway, it's a rich text! Holds up to many rereads!
My favorite is the Ruth Wilson one! But I also have thoughts about why I think the role is hard to cast unless you are thinking about neurodivergence (which I don’t think any adaptors have so far?) since neurodivergent people are so often masking and presenting outwardly differently from how they feel inside. Hard to capture and characterize in a visual medium!!
I saw myself in your essay, Kyrstiana. And with age (it’s been about 25 years since I’ve read Jane Eyre), I see myself in Jane. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a diagnosis, but thank you for helping me understand myself. I am also putting Jane Eyre back on my TBR.
Thank you for this enthralling essay. Jane Eyre has been one of my favorite novel (and the Ruth Wilson adaptation one my favorite movies) since I was a teen floundering to meaningfully connect with my peers at the level of intimacy I craved and experiencing alienation for my neurodivergent intensity. I understood what Jane meant by it being a pity that one’s best doesn’t always answer.
Unlike Jane, I did try the missionary life for a decade because it so happened to align with my special interest at the time, hold the promise of communal living, and operate by rules I thought I understood. It turns out I couldn’t fundraise if my life depended on it and that my love for a just, diverse, and pluralistic world ran deeper than my Christian indoctrination, thanks to my education at an international school with a multinational staff and student body.
In accordance with my conscience, and worn by years of masking, I quit the professional Christian life. And if it hadn’t been for the reassurance from literary characters like Jane Eyre that one can abandon community for the sake of integrity and still survive, I don’t know if I would have had the same resolute courage to do likewise. The bruises take a long time to heal. Charlotte Brontë gave us a guide or mentor in Jane, a person whose sense of self is so strong it inspires us to live out that kind of self-respect.
Thanks again for highlighting one of my literary heroes and reminding me that the feeling of loneliness doesn’t really mean I’m alone.
THIS IS SO GOOD. Oh, wow. It brought me back to my college English classes in the best possible way. I often wish I could retake those classes as the person I am now, post-evangelical and self-diagnosed autistic rather than still-trying-so-very-hard-to-be-the-best-Christian-girl-but-on-the-cusp-of-burnout. At least I can reread (or listen to) Jane Eyre (when I have the time/motivation) with those new lenses.
I loved this so much. Jane Eyre is one of the few books I reread on the regular, possibly because the first time I read it, I identified so hard with Jane. Such a lovely, nerdy essay. My heart swoons.
Beautiful essay, Krystiana. Thank you for sharing - it makes me want to reread/rewatch. I also forgot about the novel from the wife’s pov. Will add that to my list!
I highly recommend it! It’s helpful to slip into someone else’s POV and realize ways in which Jane’s own perspective, for all her intensity about accuracy and correctness, is shaped both by her own brain and her own cultural environment.
I only read Jane Eyre fairly recently and of corse loved it. Now want to read again knowing and recognizing so much more about neurodivergence. Thanks for this essay!
I love this so much. I resonated so much with Jane Eyre as a teenager. It was the first time I encountered someone who had an inner life like mine, whose inner dialogue mirrored mine. Annie Kotowicz mentioned a similar response in her book What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic and it was one of the things that clued me in that I might be autistic. Thank you so much for this in-depth exploration of Jane Eyre. It is so insightful. I will definitely have to re-read it with this lens.
Elizabeth Zott in Lessons in Chemistry is another favorite neurodivergent-coded female character. I'm curious about any other books/characters anyone else has found and loved. Maybe the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wicked Musical? I haven't read the Wicked series yet, but just checked out the first book.
I read this in the quiet of early morning. At first I was so stunned by it that I couldn't get up from my chair. Now I am experiencing a flood of tears, still sitting in the same chair. I am 65 and ongoingly striving to get the hang of my recent diagnoses. This essay brought profound connections to consciousness for me (and with me, with all of us through history). Thank you for this. I hadn't anticipated re-reading Jane Eyre but, yeah, totally have to now. It would be amazing to discuss it along the way. Maybe many have and have left a paper trail? Gorgeous essay? Absolutely.
Also PS I would be thrilled to do a Jane Eyre book club with you!
Love this idea!
I’d be intothat
Ayla, this is so sweet. Thanks for reading. 💛
Thank you for sharing this. 💗
This is beautiful. I had to read Jane Eyre (and write a book report) as punishment in 8th grade (35 years ago) for making a mean mini-book about my English teacher and getting caught. (I reconnected with her on fb a couple years ago and she swears she doesn’t remember and it couldn’t be true because she never assigns books as punishment. But it happened.) I skim-read it for the report and swore I’d never ever read the book again. You’ve changed my mind. 💗
A mean mini-book!!!!! why does this tickle me so much.
It tickles me too! 🤣 Do you remember notebooks with perforated pages? I took the little half-inch part that was left after you tear out the sheets and cut it so it was like 2 inches tall and still bound together and made a book and I would give anything to still have it. 🤣 Another teacher found it and I had to apologize to the teacher and tell the principal and my parents, oh my god.
I am just really loving your mini-book.
Thanks! 😆
Haha! I hope you give it a second chance!!
I will!
It didn't fit in the essay, but there was a phase in my relationship with the book (I think around college / early twenties, so 10 years ago for me) when I reread it and COULD'T STAND IT because everyone was so mean to Jane and she just put up with so much. I hated how she was victimized. I was adult enough to realize the cruelty and injustice that were happening, but I didn't yet have the missing key of neurodivergence to understand the pattern. Rereading again more recently, I had a new angle and, in retrospect, maybe I hated it at that time because the same sort of thing was happening to me. Anyway, it's a rich text! Holds up to many rereads!
Krystiania, do you have a favorite film adaptation of Jane Eyre by any chance?
My favorite is the Ruth Wilson one! But I also have thoughts about why I think the role is hard to cast unless you are thinking about neurodivergence (which I don’t think any adaptors have so far?) since neurodivergent people are so often masking and presenting outwardly differently from how they feel inside. Hard to capture and characterize in a visual medium!!
I saw myself in your essay, Kyrstiana. And with age (it’s been about 25 years since I’ve read Jane Eyre), I see myself in Jane. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a diagnosis, but thank you for helping me understand myself. I am also putting Jane Eyre back on my TBR.
Oops, *Krystiana*.
Thank you for this enthralling essay. Jane Eyre has been one of my favorite novel (and the Ruth Wilson adaptation one my favorite movies) since I was a teen floundering to meaningfully connect with my peers at the level of intimacy I craved and experiencing alienation for my neurodivergent intensity. I understood what Jane meant by it being a pity that one’s best doesn’t always answer.
Unlike Jane, I did try the missionary life for a decade because it so happened to align with my special interest at the time, hold the promise of communal living, and operate by rules I thought I understood. It turns out I couldn’t fundraise if my life depended on it and that my love for a just, diverse, and pluralistic world ran deeper than my Christian indoctrination, thanks to my education at an international school with a multinational staff and student body.
In accordance with my conscience, and worn by years of masking, I quit the professional Christian life. And if it hadn’t been for the reassurance from literary characters like Jane Eyre that one can abandon community for the sake of integrity and still survive, I don’t know if I would have had the same resolute courage to do likewise. The bruises take a long time to heal. Charlotte Brontë gave us a guide or mentor in Jane, a person whose sense of self is so strong it inspires us to live out that kind of self-respect.
Thanks again for highlighting one of my literary heroes and reminding me that the feeling of loneliness doesn’t really mean I’m alone.
I was actually born a missionary kid, so I find that part of the book especially resonant. I’m glad you realized it wasn’t for you. 😉💛
THIS IS SO GOOD. Oh, wow. It brought me back to my college English classes in the best possible way. I often wish I could retake those classes as the person I am now, post-evangelical and self-diagnosed autistic rather than still-trying-so-very-hard-to-be-the-best-Christian-girl-but-on-the-cusp-of-burnout. At least I can reread (or listen to) Jane Eyre (when I have the time/motivation) with those new lenses.
I loved this so much. Jane Eyre is one of the few books I reread on the regular, possibly because the first time I read it, I identified so hard with Jane. Such a lovely, nerdy essay. My heart swoons.
Krystiana, every word of this essay rang through me like a bell. This was beautiful, thank you.
Beautiful essay, Krystiana. Thank you for sharing - it makes me want to reread/rewatch. I also forgot about the novel from the wife’s pov. Will add that to my list!
I highly recommend it! It’s helpful to slip into someone else’s POV and realize ways in which Jane’s own perspective, for all her intensity about accuracy and correctness, is shaped both by her own brain and her own cultural environment.
I loved this! Thank you.
I need to reread Jane Eyre!!
I only read Jane Eyre fairly recently and of corse loved it. Now want to read again knowing and recognizing so much more about neurodivergence. Thanks for this essay!
I love this so much. I resonated so much with Jane Eyre as a teenager. It was the first time I encountered someone who had an inner life like mine, whose inner dialogue mirrored mine. Annie Kotowicz mentioned a similar response in her book What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic and it was one of the things that clued me in that I might be autistic. Thank you so much for this in-depth exploration of Jane Eyre. It is so insightful. I will definitely have to re-read it with this lens.
Elizabeth Zott in Lessons in Chemistry is another favorite neurodivergent-coded female character. I'm curious about any other books/characters anyone else has found and loved. Maybe the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wicked Musical? I haven't read the Wicked series yet, but just checked out the first book.