Sad, Angry, and Slightly OK

This is 41 and I'm mad at the Christians

Hello and welcome to Healing is My Special Interest, the newsletter at the intersection of healing from high control religions and late-diagnosed neurodivergence. I am working very hard on my mental health these days but there are also some fascist dictatorship lines being crossed in the past few days that have me incredibly worried. I am trusting you all are staying informed and are prepared to resist in the ways you can. Today’s post is behind the paywall because it is a personal essay. Thank you to everyone who supports this project and my work, it’s the best birthday present I could have ever received.

I’m obsessed with this magnifying glass necklace my friend Jenny gave me

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 41 years old. I do not know if my parents will text me happy birthday. They are angry at me because I am angry at them. After decades of not being allowed to express any emotions or beliefs except those that mirrored theirs, the dam burst for me a few years ago. They say they miss me, and this helps. It helps me to recognize they miss a version of me that was traumatized into compliance. Into silence. Into making myself as small and as pleasant to the Christian white supremacist patriarchy as possible.