D.L. Recommends: 2024 edition

New year, same me! But I have some cool things to recommend :)

Hello and welcome to Healing is My Special Interest, the newsletter at the intersection of healing from high control environments and late-diagnosed neurodivergence. I’ve been off of social media for two weeks now and am starting to come out of a fog of extremely stressful family situations I found myself in . . . and I’m happy to be here alive and awake to the world in 2025 and share this list with you. Thanks as always for supporting this publication, it means the world to me :)

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Oregon really is magical

DL Recommends: the 2024 mega-list edition

I periodically love to write out lists of things I love. Here is a big one, full of things that got me through a brutal (and lovely) year. In no particular order, I recommend:

Looking back at your 2024 goals

Last year I wrote a 2024 manifesto. I wanted to pay attention to my body, process my fear/terror instead of outsourcing it to others, divest from harmful communities and systems, and work on identifying binary thinking in my life and work. I did pretty well on all of those, although I want to continue making progress in all of these areas -- so I guess this means they were pretty spot-on? I’m proud of the work I did, and I can see how the first one -- paying attention to my physical body -- really was the foundational skill I needed to focus on. I still have a lot of terror that is triggered periodically throughout the day, but changing my relationship to social media has really helped this one. I don’t have a new manifesto for 2025 (other than survive) but I think I will keep going with the 2024 one.

Ethical Improv

I didn’t know I was needing this in my life until I got sucked into Dropout TV! This is my favorite content platform I have ever subscribed to -- and it is worth every penny. The comedians are all so funny, unique, and committed to inclusion. The people running the company are anti-capitalist and it is truly so refreshing to see artists being paid well and having a ball while making others (like me!) laugh. If you want to get into the Dropout universe, I suggest starting with the free episodes of Game Changer or Make Some Noise. I love silly people who can shift into an anti-capitalist rant at a moments notice!!!!

Unsubscribing

January is a perfect time to clean up the ol’ email inbox (or social media accounts if you are feeing brave). There is no shame or guilt in recognizing when you have moved on and need something new / different in your life!

Two cards I recently pulled from the Woodland Wardens oracle deck by Jessica Roux

Oracle decks

If tarot cards are too overwhelming for you, to start an intuition practice you might want to look into oracle decks -- basically you can pull a card or two and let it speak to you. Krispin got me this deck for Christmas / Yule and it is SO gorgeous and each card has a plant and an animal and some attributes on it . . . I have really enjoyed spending time with this deck and the artwork and the themes therein.

Silly Little Matching Games

As I have slowly transitioned this past year from being on social media, I knew I needed some sort of activity to do on my phone. After all, my phone has been my constant companion as an isolated autistic freelance writer and internet gadabout for over a decade! So I started playing a few weird matching games and I unabashedly love them. My favorites are: Merge adventure, and Seaside Escape. They are silly, mindless, but give me some dopamine hits without reminding me of, you know, a genocide funded by my own tax dollars that I am powerless to stop.

Re-watching old movies

I saw a few new movies this year (my favorite was probably Wicked) but usually I find entire movies to be too overstimulating / too much for my brain, especially after 7pm. So I have gone back to re-watching old movies, and finding pleasure from them! It really helps with my anxiety to know what is coming. My favorite re-watches of this year were probably While You Were Sleeping (classic!), A Bug’s Life (seriously, the most anti-capitalist movie Disney ever made), and Sense and Sensibility (Emma Thompson is a revelation as both the screenwriter and lead actress).

Polish is from Mooncat (and gives me big Elphaba vibes)

Fancy Nail Polish

While in the midst of writing / editing some really intense chapters for STRONGWILLED, and in the absence of any kind of external validation, I decided to treat myself to some fancy nail polishes this year. I first ordered two polishes from Holo Taco and then later on two from Mooncat. Is $9-15 a lot for a bottle of polish? Yes it is. Do I enjoy the heck out of my sparkling holographic nails? YES. Paying a bit more and supporting a smaller company that makes excellent stuff and then being delighted every time I look at my hands is well worth it in my book. I prefer the Holo Taco polish slightly more, but I love the general witchy vibe of Mooncat.

Turmeric

There are certain spices I am finding myself drawn to these days: turmeric and cayenne and rosemary and thyme and garlic . . . but mostly turmeric. Like a lot of people, I struggle with the daily grind of cooking but when I am feeling better and can actually do it, the more spices the better. I love adding it to chicken noodle soup and to rice and even in tea! Pretty and good for you, what’s not to love?

Finding Books That You Truly Vibe With

I started SO many novels this year (many of them romance) and I didn’t finish the majority of them. Sometimes this made me feel a little sad or annoyed, but it was also a great reminder that I am a person with pretty singular tastes and it is worth it to keep trying to find something I vibe with. Because when I really like something, boy howdy do I like it! So here is your permission to put down the books you aren’t quite connecting with, and keep trying until you find something that makes your heart sing. (I am working on a full post about the best books I read in 2024, so be on the lookout for that)

Swinging Hammock Chairs

I KNOW I have written about these before but in 2024 a swinging camping hammock chair from Costco has once again been the most important piece of furniture my family owns. My 14 year old often puts on a pair of headphones and just rocks out (ha!) in the evenings when they are feeling a lot of feelings. I use the chair when I am feeling sad but don’t have the energy to really move my body much but am still craving motion. It’s really great for folks who get stuck in the freeze response / go inward and carry tension and who need a bit of help getting it out.

Exfoliation

Maybe you are a nonbinary weirdo like me who never seems to be able to figure out what the girlies are doing to have nice looking skin. My friend Kelly told me about exfoliation and how important it is and now I am hooked! I use Paula’s Choice and it lasts me a long time because I only remember to do it a few times a week. Besides exfoliating, I use a moisturizing sunscreen every day and I am very proud of myself for doing this! Baby steps people.

This is a dinosaur fossil! One of my favorite kind of rocks!!!!!! My 14yo says this is the most accurate picture of me ever taken

Crystals/Rocks/Gems/Minerals/Fossils

2024 was the year of falling in love with rocks. So many rocks! So many crystals! So many ancient reminders of the cycles of life and nature! I have slowly started to expand my collection, learning about them, gazing at them, holding them. I just got a year membership to a local rock and mineral museum that is incredible and I can’t wait to keep going and learning. I find rocks to be so grounding and interesting and it’s a special interest that doesn’t make me despair about the world but instead find beauty in it. So I call that a big ol’ win.

Salt lamps

There is no real scientific evidence that they do anything really but as an autistic person I HATE harsh overhead lighting and I love having a big ass salt crystal next to my bed that glows a beautiful pinkish color.

Lava Lamps

More soft lighting! I find lava lamps to be so mesmerizing and relaxing.

Mushrooms

I started going on mushroom hunting walks this fall and it has been so fun for me. Oregon has a lot of them in certain seasons, and basically I would just go on walks and keep my eyes peeled for all the kinds of fungi I could spot. And there were so many! I personally don’t love the taste of mushrooms so I don’t pick any, but I am drawn to looking at them and contemplating the mycelium network. I also experimented with microdosing psilocybin this year, and while it didn’t seem to impact me in big ways, I did notice myself dreaming a lot more and wanting to go on more mushroom walks. Which is kinda cool and fun, and I wish we lived in a society that would prioritize the research of mushrooms and their mental health benefits to people but alas, capitalism strikes again.

Keeping a Dream Journal

In 2024 I had more dreams (that I can remember) than I have ever had. A lot of them were about childhood places I had nearly forgotten about, or were about several recurring themes that I am still reflecting on (me being in various random cities and always searching for an art museum, for instance). I have started keeping track of them in a little dream journal, and it’s been an interesting self-reflection practice that I didn’t even know I was missing.

Finding Smells that Ground You

My somatic therapist uses different essential oils with me and I have started buying a few for myself here and there (avoiding all the weird MLMs, of course!). Right now I have Balsam Fir next to my bed and Incense Cedarwood in my kitchen and I dab a little bit on my wrists or just smell the bottle when I need an instant hit of . . . energy? Calm? Groundedness? It seems to be a mix of all three. I LOVE woodsy smells these days.

Bird Feeders

I am OBSESSED. Did you know there are entire stores dedicated to bird feeders?!?!? I set one up outside of our living room window and it is been so fun to watch the birds come and hang out. My dog and cat also enjoy watching them with me which is adorable. So far I truly don’t know what kinds of birds are hanging around, I just know they are cute and sometimes loud and it makes me feel good to watch them. If this is middle age, then I am loving it!!!!

Shortbread

Back to basics : flour, butter, sugar, and a pinch of salt. Is there anything better?

Remembering the Real Enemy are the Uber Rich

Of course I have been obsessed with Christian fascism for some time now, but I also recognize that evangelical Christians are a population that is easily conned by grifters. People in power / the rich have manipulated them over the decades to help accomplish their own aims. In the end, I can be incandescent with rage over how religious authoritarians have abused children and systematically disadvantaged marginalized groups, while also being cognizant that it is always the rich who end up benefitting from these divisions and cycles of abuse. I am hoping in 2025 we see a wide and diverse group of people coming together to scare the rich into changing their ways (you know, like the Muppets Christmas Carol taught us).

sometimes when the cats are not getting adopted I pull tarot cards for them and we manifest a lovely safe home for them

Volunteering With Cats

I used to run large and complicated volunteer-based organizations. Then I burnt out spectacularly. Now I am dipping my toes back into the waters by volunteering weekly with the cats at our local Petsmart who are waiting for adoptions. Most of the cats are hard to place for a variety of health and behavioral reasons (relatable!) and for two hours a week I hang with them and clean their cages and hope for a softer and safer world for them (and for all of us). As the economic situation continues to squeeze people more and more, finding ways to help (even small ways!) are great.

Kettlebell Routines

Nothing makes me feel quite as bad-ass as swinging a kettlebell around. Plus, weight training can help in so many ways . . . I wish I had a more consistent routine with this, but I just do it every once in awhile and in 2025 I hope to invest in building up my strength a bit more.

Supporting your Favorite Content Creators

I have found that instead of it feeling like guilt / obligation, 2024 was a year of truly enjoying supporting the work of creators that I love and want to see continue on in the world. I just really like doing it! Thanks to everyone who financially supports this project, I was able to invest in / support more disabled and queer writers, artists, and thinkers than ever before.

Living Queer Neurodivergent Lives of Joy

2024 was a year of sometimes getting lost in my head and obsessing about some of the worst people in the world and what they are up to. For 2025 I can recognize that these men really want me (and my kids, and everyone like us) to be scared and worried and anxious all the time as a form of control and power. So one of the best ways for me to resist is to protect my inner world as fiercely as I protect my physical home and make it a place of warmth and safety and creativity and joy. For my kids to have hope for the future they need to see that I am someone who is enjoying their queer, neurodivergent life and I aim to continue to do this important work! Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important than protecting your mental health in these intense times.

Gravity Falls

My 14yo loves to show me their favorite shows and usually I drag my feet . . . but mostly because the shows they are into require a LOT of investment (multiple seasons, multiple plot points, etc). This summer I finally started watching Gravity Falls with them, and I had to watch more than a dozen episodes before I started to get into it. But this is also the rhythm of the show: it starts off as a silly goofy cartoon and by the second season it is a really complex and complicated mystery show with deep themes and it is strangely poignant! We still aren’t done with it, but I am so impressed with the quality of shows that the Disney Channel put out in the 2010s (Gravity Falls, the Owl House, Amphibia). They are queer and autistic and funny and all about resisting authoritarianism. Seriously!

my coven

Joining (Or Forming) a Coven

When shit gets real, the witches find each other. Find people who you can be extremely silly with AND help survive patriarchal religious fascism with. I’m so thankful for my friend group/coven this past year investing in each other.

Baths with Magnesium Salts

A lot of witches love baths and I am one of them. Putting in salt/magnesium is a way of literally bathing with crystals! Add some lavender or other essential oils and bam -- you got yourself a full-ass ritual.

Taking your Vitamins

Thanks to my friend Jenny’s advice, I decided to really make sure I stayed on top of vitamins this year, and I did a pretty good job. I mostly focused on vitamin B, D, and C and making sure that my body could absorb the vitamins I was taking (I use this for that purpose). I really have seen a difference, including my PMDD symptoms get a lot less annoying.

Danceable Records

I had a pretty stressful Christmas hang with my family of origin and I came home and put on a Daft Punk record, cranked up the volume, and danced my little heart out. And you know what? I felt SO much better. Besides Daft Punk I have been very into T. Rex, Patsy Cline, Pinback, and the Cranberries as far as records go. Letting go of stored-up emotion through dancing isn’t something I can always access at the end of a long day but when I am able to do it, I always feel incredible.

Romanticizing your Tea Drinking

One of my favorite parts of cooler weather is wanting to drink more tea. Or, as I now think of it, being a witch who uses crushed up herbs to revitalize their soul and gather strength to continue resisting the forces of capitalism.

Paint or Color by Numbers

My friend Kelly reminded me of how nice it is to engage in an art activity where you don’t have to use a single brain cell or make any decisions. You just color the number correctly and eventually you make something. When you are burnt out or stressed out this is an easily accessible way to create something and get into your body and out of your head!

Shitty Crafts

Similarly, 2024 was the year of me making weird shit and it not being very good but I enjoyed the process anyways. In 2025, make more shitty crafts, OK?

Applesauce Packets

Some days (oh, who am I kidding -- some weeks) squeezable applesauce packets were the only consistent way I was consuming fruit in a day. I bought them for my picky eater kid but now I use them myself when I need to and I don’t feel any weird guilt or shame about it.

Accepting the Limitations of Disability

2024 was a year where my autism became less interesting and more annoying -- because it impacted my ability to make money, be out and about in the world, and to invest in friendships. I had chronic pain flair-ups and got lost for weeks inside of OCD thought loops. I became snappy at my kids if I used up my spoons too quickly. I isolated myself some weeks and others I pushed myself a little too much, and sometimes I allowed myself to drift back into old patterns of shame and self-blame for these realities. For 2025 it is hard for me to plan out all I want to do creatively because I have an awareness that my physical and emotional health could take a turn and limit what I am able to do. So I have no choice but to take each day as it comes, continue to build up the habits of self-compassion and engaging with my intuition, and do what I can in a way that feels good to me. I am disabled, like a lot of other people, and find late-stage capitalism to be incredibly exhausting. So we are taking it a tiny bit gentler into 2025, and I hope you will allow yourself to do the same.

Derry Girls

Jamie B. Golden, my pop-culture guru (and one of the creatives I am proud to support) talked about how weirdly calming it had been to re-watch Derry Girls — you know, a show about normal folks trying to live their lives in the midst of a low-key civil war / society plagued by violence. Krispin and I have been re-watching it lately and I AGREE. As someone who is raising a teenager in these currently unprecedented times, I find it very poignant and a great look at how absurd, surreal, and silly it is just to be a human during wild times.

Falling in Love with the Moon

The moon will always be there for you. She loves you very much, and her rythms and cycles have inspired humans for millenia. Maybe look up every now and again and say hi to her this year?

here’s to looking for sweetness in 2025 but not being sweet to the rich/the fascists

Well, that’s about all I can remember from 2024 (although I am sure I am missing a lot). What do YOU recommend from 2024? Let us know in the comments!