Books won't save us but they do help a bit
Here's some I keep reaching for, over and over again
Welcome to Healing is My Special Interest, the newsletter at the intersection of late-diagnosed neurodivergence and healing from high control environments. I always love doing a few posts a year about books because this community is chock full of interesting readers and thinkers. Please let me know at the end what books are getting you through these times!
I also wanted to put in a quick plug for an upcoming one-day-only art installation I am doing at Legacy Coffee in Gresham, Oregon on April 13th. I am basically building a time machine back to the one place no exvangelical wants to go — an evangelical church circa 1997 (complete with a pastor’s study/library, children’s church, youth group corner, and more). Plus lots of opportunities for processing/making your own art and a lot of my weird responses to the plethora of indoctrination materials I have collected and will be displaying. It’s pay what you can ($5/$10) and will be a masked space. I would love to have you come if you are anywhere local and want to be a part of this funny, horrifying, and weird look at artifacts that make up evangelical propaganda.
Here’s the eventbrite with more details.
Well, I finally got around to writing about a few of the books I have found myself reaching for, over and over again. This was supposed to come out at the end of 2024 — but, you know. Life happened. A megalomaniac president was elected for the second fucking time and I have been on a roller coaster ever since.
My relationship with reading continues to ebb and flow with the seasons and I am learning to let it be. Everyone I talk to is in the same boat. Some people are reading more than ever these days — escaping to fantastical fictional worlds that take them far from our current reality. Some people are listening to audiobooks as they clean their kitchens for the one millionth time. Some people are buying up the books that entranced them in childhood and dipping a toe in every now and again. Some people don’t have the capacity to read at all right now, their brains too tired and overworked to let the words sink in.
All of this is normal, all of this is to be expected. For me, I am in a pretty weird spot with my own reading life. I am in the throes of preparing for my religious trauma art show, which involves me exercising a lot of the feelings I accrued as I read through SO MANY evangelical parenting books for my STRONGWILLED project. As an ex-Christian (and ex-homeschooler) I think I still have a lot to unpack when it comes to facing the levels of indoctrination I was exposed to in the form of Christian publishing. But I have been trying in my own way to be creative with it — which is what my art show will be all about (and don’t worry, I will share some pictures here after the event!).
I haven’t read as much in the past 12-15 months as I normally do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t read at all. In fact, I read a TON of newsletters and honestly, a lot of them are of a higher quality than a lot of books being published right now. But, I still love a good book and I know a lot of you here do as well.
So instead of a big post on all of my favorite books of 2024 like I normally do, I decided to list out some of the books that I keep turning to in the past few months. If you have been a reader of this newsletter for a while you will see a few repeats on the list because I have re-read them and still find them so valuable. I highly recommend grabbing these from your local library, local anti-fascist bookstore, or bookshop.org.
So here they are, in no particular order — the books getting me through right now:
Tarot for Creativity: A Guide for Igniting Your Creative Practice by Chelsey Pippin Mizzi
Let’s start with the book I use the most, OK? This is an excellent starting place for anyone who is curious about using tarot cards to build up their connection with their own intuition and creativity. Get yourself a tarot deck, pull a card or two, and then look it up in this book to explore the meaning, various prompts, and all sorts of other goodies. This has a gentle, positive, and encouraging tone to it, and both Krispin and I use it multiple times a week to center ourselves and to prepare for our creative work.
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
I got a first edition copy of this book a few months ago and have slowly been re-reading it. Does everything hold up well? No — I mean, it was published in 1964 and Harriet can be incredibly cruel in how she describes people. But I was very taken with Harriet as a kid and now I can’t help but notice how gender non-conforming and autistic Harriet seems to be. Louise Fitzhugh was a lesbian so I guess this should make some sense, but there is a lot to think about in this book and it’s one of the few things I read in childhood that still calls out to me to this day.
Disabled Witchcraft by Kandi Zeller
I have been having some witchy friends come over about every other week to do some light hexing of the patriarchy (among other things). I have really enjoyed using Kandi’s prompts for our group and to center our rituals in the reality of our disabled bodies. This is so important not just for a witchy practice, but for activism as well to be centered in the reality of what our disabled bodies can and cannot do. This book is great if you want to explore a solo witchy practice or if you want to do some rituals with friends . . . Kandi came out of evangelicalism and is really great at helping people step into a pagan/witchy practice for the first time.
Peeta’s Games by igsgrace
I did it. I allowed myself to once again become obsessed with the Hunger Games. This happens to me every few years or so (I can’t imagine why . . . ) and this time around I think we are eventually going to watch all the movies with our teenager. But for now I am letting myself re-read the SINGLE GREATEST PIECE OF FANFICTION EVER CREATED which is called Peeta’s Games. I know I have talked about this before in the newsletter but here I am re-reading it so you have to hear about it AGAIN. It re-tells the story of the original Hunger Games trilogy from Peeta’s point of view and it is incredibly well-written with a lot more emotional insight (because, let’s face it, Katniss . . . doesn’t have much emotional intelligence). Plus it’s free and Peeta is the perfect simp and it’s a relatively quick read . . . highly recommend!
The Mass Psychology of Fascism by Wilhelm Reich
Of all the books I have read to try and understand fascism (before it came to the US) this is the one I keep coming back to. It was written in 1933 and the immediate nature of trying to puzzle together what the fuck happened in Germany by a Jewish psychologist really stands out to me. I keep coming back to read bits and pieces of this book as the US eerily mirrors so much of it. I wish I could get everyone to read it, but I know that is impossible. So I will just put up my little flag one more time and say: it’s really good, and a really insightful analysis of how fascism takes hold of a population.
Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Fairies by Heather Fawcett
This was a really interesting novel with a lot of folk tales woven throughout . . . I feel like the main protagonist (Emily Wilde) is extremely autistic which I loved! The witchy vibes are cozy and slightly terrifying . . . plus there are two more books in this series that I can’t wait to try out! Sometimes as an autistic person it is nice to have a series that you like that you know you haven’t finished yet . . . I can’t explain it, but it is comforting for some reason.
Wild Faith: How the Christian Right is Taking over America by Talia Lavin
If you missed my interview with Talia go listen to it right now! If you have the capacity, I believe Talia’s book will be remembered for how it accurately portrayed the rise of Christian fascism. I am so grateful she wrote this book and as someone who has studied this group quite a bit I don’t think anyone is as spot-on in their analysis as Talia. In particular I appreciated how she wrote about taking the apocalypticism of evangelicals seriously (they have no real vision for the future!) and the amount of grifters in that community in particular. It’s pretty bleak at times but Talia is very funny and very smart so it helps 🙂
Venco by Cherie Dimaline
I read this novel on a whim and it was incredible. A millennial Metis woman gets pulled into a mysterious witchy group (Venco is an amalgamation of coven) and hijinks ensue. If you are slightly into witchy things then I think you will really like this novel! Interesting, enlightening, grounding — and honestly, incredibly empowering. Bonus points for having a trans witch as one of the characters!
The Art and Practice of Spiritual Herbalism: Transform, Heal, and Remember with the Power of Plants and Ancestral Medicine by Karen M. Rose
This book was slightly outside of my comfort zone as someone who grew up with a mom who was anti-science but pro pseudo-herbalism —-- but I found it really interesting and fascinating at the same time. My own baggage be damned, I think it is really important for white folks like myself to try and be introduced to a wide variety of approaches to herbalism that are centered in ancestral practices. Many of the recipes and suggestions were pretty doable and I look forward to digging more into this book and the stories/myths in the months and years to come.
Frauen: German Women Recall the Third Reich by Alison Owings
I keep coming back to this book of oral histories for REASONS and it only becomes more and more prescient to the state of religious fascism here in the US. Some of the women resisted, many did not — but hearing about this time period in history through their own voices was chilling, enlightening and yes — inspiring.
The Undermining of Twila and Frank by Megan Bannen
I love a romance book that features protagonists that aren’t conventionally attractive!!! This book is set in this amazing fantasy world created by Megan Bannen (the first in the series, The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy, is also excellent) and the main characters here are older in life and it’s a second-chance romance. It is interesting and lovely and a perfect escape (plus, dragons!).
Role Playing by Cathy Yardley
Similarly, I loved this book because it is about nerds and older people and shy people and demisexual people . . . a nice breezy romance book that is about real people.
Freedom is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement by Angela Y. Davis
This book is excellent almost as a devotional book . . . you can read passages and snippets or read the entire short book in one sitting. Angela Davis has so much wisdom, and it is incredibly sobering and empowering to recognize that the fight for freedom and liberation never, ever ends. But we can continue to connect to each other in the meantime as we work towards the world we want to live in.
The Wheel of the Year by Fiona Cook
This book was originally intended for kids? But it is such a perfect introduction to trying to live a bit more seasonally — especially if you live in the Northern Hemisphere. It is beautifully illustrated with great little rituals and info to check out for each of the big witchy seasons. Since we just started Ostara (spring equinox) this would be such a great time to check this book out — and read it with your kids / family members.
The Perils of Lady Catherine De Bourgh by Claudia Gray
I love all of the Miss Tilney and Mr. Darcy murder mystery books but this one is particularly great. Mr. Darcy (the younger) is an excellent autistic representation and the mystery progresses in a fun and fascinating way plus a teensy tiny bit of romance. This series is a great escapist series for me (someone weirdly obsessed with Jane Austen / regency era books).
There are other books I read and a lot of books I enjoyed, but these are the ones that I have either re-read or have thought a lot about after I was done with the book.
Did I use up most of my weekend reading Peeta's games and the author's entire canon? Yes.
Could I have found a better use for my time? Nope! Not at all.
I LOVE that that Hunger Games fic author has only written 4 fics, but they all have a billion comments and kudos. Also love that she appears to be middle-aged because some of the best fic writers are middle-aged people who still love their fandoms. Good for her!!!
I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks--re-listening to some memoirs I find comforting. And as always, I'm rereading the same 3 Star Wars fix-it fics, plus the Agents of SHIELD fics written by my best fandom friend.